Female. Memories of the future
The artwork shows a young girl painting herself. Nudity here is a metaphor for spiritual nudity on the one hand, and openness and naturalness on the other. Female nudity is a symbol of naturalness and sensuality. The point of the work is to convey the sensuality of the moment, sensual perception of the world as a natural way of experiencing the world. Time is one of the key themes of the series.

The girl on the verge of discovery, she is trying to realize herself as a woman. Her hand is raised, she throws back her hair in a feminine gesture and gazes at herself, aware of the signs of becoming a woman. Her other hand is lowered and she draws sketches of the human body, looking at herself as a model. For her, it is a way of exploring herself and the world.

The shape of the female body is read clearly, but the face is indistinct and blurred, reflecting the multidimensionality and complexity of the girl's perception of herself, as well as the three-dimensional nature of the image. The girl is a stranger to herself, so her face is unclear and hidden in the shadows.
Female. Memories of the future.
Charcoal. 2021
I feel an interest in the process of creation, the moment of creative impulse. What happens if you suppress or express it?
Female. Memories of the future
Charcoal. 2021
Memories of the future. Roma
Charcoal. 2021

I look at myself - I have changed. Getting to know myself, wanting to know myself more intimately.
Put into it everything you feel, from the fear of failure to an inner high that fevers, worries, moves inside, and if you let it - spills out in a flood of words, thoughts, lines, strokes, trembling, nervous, long and true, as if catching your breath in anticipation.
The first thing that came to hand - and perhaps it’s the most important thing, the thing you’ve been running from for so long, daring not to look at yourself. Funny? Not daring to look yourself in the eye. Now look, look carefully, and let what you see be reflected in you. Try, put the image, of everything you see, together.
You look at yourself because you have no other model and you need now, you need urgently, immediately to see how the sun plays on human skin, how the atmosphere around you lays on the plasticity of your nudity. And then you wonder if it’s so coincidental that your gaze has fallen on you. After all, if no one else is around, you always stay.
Once you have paused and been in silence and boredom, the existing emptiness is filled by an explosion of what you have been waiting for.
What were you doing? - And then I was covered.
The bed, the bedspread.
Scattered sheets and sketches.
You and the empty room.
You and the empty space.
What emerges is a reflection of the dialogue of the two of you.
What happens when you’re left alone with the space?
You know how it is?
You wake up in the morning and you don’t know what’s going on. Something’s bothering you, poking in different directions, dropping objects, not sure what you want. The feeling of being unborn.
You and the room. You and your space. The empty space between you is a space to be filled, it’s free for something to emerge.

January 2021
Let’s pretend you and I are strangers.
Look, the sun is falling on the hills;
Down the slopes, shadows to the road,
With transparent, light patches caressing the snow.

March 13, 2021
To Roma
With red paint on my knee.
40x50 cm. oil on canvase, 2021
Female. Memories of the future
Tryptich. 110x60 cm, oil on canvas, 2021
From my notes:

You are carrying two heavy fruits,
As filled with golden mist,
Tearfully and sweetly ringing.
They are your head and heart.
Female. Memories of the future.
60x110 cm, oil on canvase, 2021
This piece is a part of "Female. Memories of the future" series, 2020-2021
Memories of the future
70x70 cm, oil on canvas, 2022

The artwork has a story I want to share with you.

From November 2021 I was planning to move to Portugal from Russia. Finally, I came to Lisbon in March 2022: the moment coincided with the beginning of situation we have in the world.
I have left all my artworks in Russia, as I had to leave Moscow with just one suitcase. Now in my new shelter in Lisbon I have only one painting from my previous works, which was exhibited in Venice in January 2022, and I could receive it here.

The other ones nowadays are stuck in Moscow in the apartment of my university years friend, @nastiotam, who lives in the center of Moscow, Tverskaya street, where all manifestations take place.
That day, when I moved all my works to Nastia’s apartment in the downtown, she met me dressed up in colors of Ukrainian flag: long yellow skirt and blue sweater.

I took a photo from that our meeting. In the photo accidentally Nastia was standing in front of my oil self-portrait, where I raised up the arm, and she did the same gesture. It was like a mirror. That moment inspired me to create a painting with this composition.

Later, before crossing the Russian border, I was forced to delete the photo from my phone. Before cleaning the phone, I sent the photo to Nastia, but in the next few days she was detained on the streets of Moscow, she had blocked her phone, while being transferred in a police van, and then couldn't unblock it.

That photo is unrestorable, that mirror moment now exists only in our memory.
Thus, I’ve decided to restore it in my new painting. I ought to paint this picture in oil for nobody can delete it.

This painting is about life, about freedom, moving ahead with art.
The faces are blurred, they're kind of haze of memories. The shapes of figures are fuzzy, dissolving, like the moment of creation the painting in real life, dissolving between the past and the future.

“Memories of the future”
Oil, canvas, 70x70
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